• Dr. Leah Fortson

What do you See When You Look in the Mirror?


Did you know most people tend to operate out of consistent relational patterns? In other words, most of us have a pattern of relating that we engage in when interacting with others. For many of us, these patterns are subconscious and are heavily influenced by past interpersonal experiences.


Here’s what is challenging about this – relationships are equity. Let me say it a different way, the abilities to engage in, develop, and maintain healthy relationships are crucial if you truly hope to achieve your goals and live a full and purposeful life. Sure, people can provide you with opportunities you wouldn’t have otherwise had and introduce you to people you wouldn’t have by other means met. However, what’s more important is this: People serve as mirrors, reflecting to us what we cannot see about ourselves. A famous preacher once said, “If I am sitting in a room, I can see everything in that room except one thing – me. I cannot see myself.” In order for us to clearly see our reflections in a mirror we must get close. Yet, if past relationships have taught you that closeness to others is unsafe you might find yourself meandering through relationships, erecting superficial walls of separation, all under the pretense of “self-protection.”


I wonder what about you do you fail to or are unable to see because you refuse to move close enough to the mirrors in your life to see your reflection? And if they are able to reflect, I wonder if you are open enough to acknowledge what you see?